Babies
by Jediempress
Summary: COMPLETED! Fanfic can inspire some of the oddest conversations and start strange events. Riku and Sora read a story and Kairi can't help but add her two cents. Chaos soon follows. Yes, there's yaoi. You're gonna love or hate this! Please review!
1. Chapter 1

I have NO IDEA where this came from. Actually, I do. I once read a fan fic where the event described happened and personally, the concept weirds me out. Any way, have fun.

By the way, don't own the boys. Wish I did but I don't.

BABIES

Riku stared at the screen, his face twisted up in an expression Sora couldn't properly identify. Part disbelief, part disgust, part confusion. Sora still hadn't quite gotten the hang of computers but Riku had taken to them immediately. The laptop as Riku called it had come from some world he'd been to while avoiding Sora.

In that world, Sora, Riku and all their friends had been well known thanks to a video game series. They had a huge fan base and Sora found it a little disturbing that there were people out there who a: knew more about him than he did and b: twisted his life into whatever they wanted.

Riku had told him about fanfic and art. He seemed quite amused by the whole thing, spending a lot of time reading stories and searching pictures. Sora stayed as far away from it as he could which wasn't too difficult. While Riku had laughed saying Sora didn't know what he was missing he respected Sora's decision and never tried to make him view any of it.

Sora assumed Riku was engrossed in one of these tales. Despite his inner voice telling him he really didn't want to know the look on Riku's face made him ask. "Riku?"

There was no answer as Riku's face twisted further.

What was he looking at? "Riku?"

"This is just, wrong." Riku muttered. Sora was rather certain his best friend wasn't talking to him. "It's not even remotely possible."

Sora stepped closer, a frown marring his usually cheerful face. "What are you talking about?"

The silver haired teen finally glanced up. "You do not want to know."

This just made Sora more determined to find out. He bounded over to Riku and stared over his shoulder. "Come on. What is it?"

He began reading the screen and it didn't take long for his expression to match Riku's. What was wrong with these people?

"Hey, guys. What's…" Kairi slowed to a halt. "up?"

The two didn't reply. Sora suddenly cringed and leaned in closer. His head was now right beside Riku's. "He can't do that!"

"How do you know?" Riku counted calmly despite the unnerved expression he wore. "Have you ever asked him?"

"No, why would I?"

"So there's nothing to say it isn't possible."

"But it's just so wrong." Sora whined.

"No argument there. Something's are not meant to be."

Kairi folded her arms in frustration. "What are you two going on about?"

"I can't even see Cloud and Leon wanting a baby." Sora continued, oblivious to Kairi's question. "Let alone one of them actually _having_ it."

"What?" Kairi's jaw dropped. She didn't really hear Sora say what he just said, did she?

"This story." Sora waved a hand absently. "It's totally messed up. Cloud and Leon are having Merlin help them have a baby. How wrong is that?"

"Which one's getting knocked up?" Kairi giggled.

"Kairi!" Sora looked at her stunned.

"Oh come on Sora." She came over and leaned over the screen trying to read it upside down. "What's so wrong about two guys wanting a child together?"

Sora opened his mouth but nothing came out. Instead, a thoughtful look came over him. After a few moments, he tilted his head. "I guess there isn't but…"

"It's the idea of male pregnancy that's so out of place." Riku finished for him. "It's not anatomically possible."

It really creeped Kairi out how often the two boys finished each others thoughts and seemed to always know what the other was about to do. They really did seem to be two half's of a whole. She shook her head. She'd been reading too much of Riku's fanfic.

Speaking of which. "So which one's having the baby?"

"Cloud." Riku smirked. "I guess that makes sense. I really can't see Leon 'with child'."

Sora turned to him incredulously. "What?!"

Kairi tucked some hair behind her ear. "Me neither. Cloud's much more girlish."

"I can't believe you two are really discussing this." Sora straightened. "Two guys can't have a baby."

Kairi laughed. The was a discerning maniacal tone to it. "I think it's sweet."

Riku raised an eye while Sora became dumbfounded. She only clasped her hands behind her back. "Why shouldn't two people who love each other be able to have a baby? Besides, I think Cloud and Leon would have a beautiful child."

"Yeah they would." Riku could barely be heard but Kairi caught it.

She grinned softly. She couldn't resist her next comment. "You and Sora would make pretty children, too."

"Whah?" Sora sputtered. It only would have been funnier if he'd been drinking something.

"I could see the two of you with a little girl." Kairi continued thoughtfully. "With Riku's silver hair and Sora's bright blue eyes. She'd be adorable."

Sora was almost choking. "You, you really think-"

"Riku doesn't seem to have any problem with the idea." Kairi gave the smaller boy a pointed look.

Indeed, the oldest of the three was currently wearing a distant look. She knew he had heard her. The two boys had a rather unusual relationship, one that to her at least toed the fine line between friends and something else. She doubted it would really take much to push them over that line.

"I'm not gonna have a baby with Riku!"

This snapped Riku out of his whatever he'd been in. With expressionless face, he calmly asked. "Why?"

Sora was taken aback. "What do you mean why?"

"You wouldn't want a child with me? I think I'd make some pretty damn nice looking kids."

A blush was forming on Sora's cheeks. "I, I didn't say I wouldn't. I just meant-"

"So you would have a baby with Riku if you could." Kairi interrupted.

"Yeah, I mean," Sora fumbled with his words. "Maybe if it were possible and I really wanted one and there wasn't someone else."

Riku's expression was unreadable. Kairi however wasn't going to stop here. "You know with modern science, the two of you could have a baby made. Just splice your genes together and there you go."

"I'd rather use magic than go that route. I've seen what happens when scientists try making people." Sora was suddenly very coherent.

"Yeah you get Sephiroth." Riku agreed.

"Actually I was thinking of you for some reason." Sora looked confused. "I suddenly had this idea pop in my head that you and Sephiroth were related somehow. Weird, huh?"

"Yeah." Riku said in an odd tone.

"Well, either way," Kairi interrupted. "I think you two would be great parents."

She stepped away back toward the door. "Of course that leaves the question of which one of you would be Mommy."

"Sora has better hips."

"Riku's taller so there's more room."

"Yeah but you already have a pudgy stomach."

"I do not!"

Kairi laughed out loud as she left the two to their argument. It was amazing the things a simple fanfic could start.


	2. Chapter 2

This probably won't be as strong as the last one but due to demand, I managed to come up with something and even managed to leave it so another can be done if wanted.

Please leave your thoughts, guys.

"Sora, you're bouncing."

"I'm sorry." Sora visibly worked on calming himself. "I just missed everyone a lot more than I thought."

Riku shook his head. Kairi was totally correct. His best friend really was comparable to an excitable puppy.

Upon entering the small house Sora nearly choked. Off to the left laying on the twin bed was Cloud. He was sprawled out on his stomach eating chocolate peanut butter ice cream with a near blissful look on his face. The expression alone was enough to freak Sora out but the added sight of Leon kneeling over the blonde massaging his shoulders threw Sora completely.

"Well what have we walked into?" Riku chuckled.

Sora tugged on Riku's arm. His voice was panicky. "Um, we should go. Yeah. "We don't want to, uh, intrude."

Both Cloud and Leon were watching Sora quizzically as the boy became more insistent in trying to pull Riku out. Riku had planted himself firmly to his spot and was fighting to not double over laughing. As it was, he couldn't keep from smiling widely.

Although the two older men wouldn't understand and he knew he'd have to explain everything which he was going to have to do any way, he had to say it. "So when's the blessed event?"

Sora's face went bright red. "Riku!"

This earned frowns from the two on the bed. Leon's was curious while Cloud's was annoyed. Said blonde looked at Riku. "What are you talking about?"

Before he could answer, all three heard a quiet muttering from Sora. The spiky youth was staring at the floor and chanting. "It's not true. It's just a story. It's not true. It's just a story."

"Is he all right?" Leon asked with a touch of concern.

"No." Riku watched Sora in amusement.

Before more could be said, a popping noise sounded and in a puff of blue smoke and sparkles Merlin appeared. He was facing Cloud and Leon and didn't seem to notice the Keyblade wielders at all. "So how's that spell working?"

"You didn't say I'd start craving chocolate." Cloud said around a spoonful of ice cream.

"Oh, well that's perfectly normal for someone in your condition." Merlin waved a dismissive hand. "It will probably remain for the next several months."

"Great." Cloud muttered.

The statement was barely heard over Sora's sudden loud exclamation, a word no one was able to identify. All heads turned to him.

"I say, boy, are you all right?" Merlin inquired.

"Oh he's so not right it's funny." Riku answered with a smirk.

"Well, I'm sure I have a spell that would-"

"No!" Sora went wide eyed. "You will never go with me with a spell! I don't wanna baby!"

And with that he fled out the door.

Two blank stares and an elderly voice whispering 'oh my' met Riku's roar of laughter as his knees finally gave up and he dropped down. He could barely breath but the laughter didn't stop. Several minutes later he was still chuckling.

He knew he needed to explain. Between gasps for air he tried telling them why Sora was acting so crazy. "There are these stories people write about us on one of the worlds I went to. All of us are fictional characters to them and our games are phenomenally huge. I'm totally hooked on these thing and people come up with the craziest ideas. Well last week I read one in which the two of you decide to have a baby together so Merlin makes it so Cloud can get pregnant."

Cloud tensed at this. "Why me?"

"What do you mean why you?"

"Why am I the pregnant one?"

Riku rolled his eyes. "I don't know. Because you're more feminine than Leon."

Leon actually chuckled. "Well that makes sense."

Cloud glared up at him and twisted his body. "Get off of me."

Leon did as told, pulling on his white t-shirt to straighten it out. Cloud sat on his butt, legs folded before him as he aggressively dug out a spoonful of ice cream. Leon merely crossed his arms over his chest.

Merlin meanwhile was looking thoughtful. "While I've never even attempted something of that nature, I do believe it could be done. It would simply be a matter of modifying the abdominal cavity to allow for the child's growth. Of course the difficult part would be the birth. I suppose-"

"No." Three calm yet stern voices cut him off.

Leon gave him a hard glare. "You are forbidden from pursuing that idea any further."

Changing the subject slightly, Riku looked between the blonde and brunette curiously. "So, what was going on earlier?"

"I was attacked by a near ton of bricks." Cloud answered curtly.

"The lift line snapped and Cloud got pinned." Leon explained further. He sounded unnerved about the incident. "If it had been anyone else, it would have killed them."

Riku studied Cloud with concern. He'd always felt close to the man. They seemingly had a lot in common. "You alright now?"

Cloud gave him one of his rare smiles. "Yeah. Merlin cast a bunch of really strong heal spells. I'll be sore for a while."

"Which is why Leon was…"

"I need him to recover. We can't afford to be down a man for too long." Leon said flatly. Everyone seemed to know it was a lame excuse by their various expressions. Leon considered Cloud a close friend.

"Well, I'll be out a few days. Maybe even a week."

"I'll find something for you to do that isn't too strenuous. Painting, perhaps."

"Not interested."

"Whatever." Leon walked away, toward Riku and the door. He paused beside Riku. "You know, if he really was pregnant then I'd have to excuse him from the menial labor."

"In exchange for a different labor." Riku smirked.

"Enough you two." Cloud actually raised his voice. "I'm disturbed enough by the entire concept."

"I'm going to look for Sora. If any of the girls find him in that state and he tells them why, we are going to have a dead Yuffie by the end of the night." Leon flicked some hair from his face. "Because there is no way in hell she'd let something like that go."

"Right," Riku hadn't thought of that and judging from how Kairi had reacted to the idea, he didn't want to imagine what Yuffie would do with it. "I'll come with."

"Pick up some more ice cream from Scrooge." Cloud laid back on his bed.

Leon tilted his head in annoyance. "You can walk."

Cloud lifted his head and pouted. Pouted. Riku could not believe it. What came next floored him. Leon sighed and opened the door. "Same flavor?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

"Of course." The sarcasm literally dripped from his voice. "Dear."


	3. Chapter 3

So this probably isn't as funny as the first two but I've got a twisted idea for the end and I had to set it up. There will probably be two more chapters. Let me know what you guys think, okay?

On to part three….

"Any idea where he might have gone?" Riku broke up the silence that developed between them. He still couldn't believe how much the place had changed since he'd been here.

"He seems to enjoy state boarding around the Restoration area." Leon replied quietly. Did he ever raise his voice? His tone was as soft as Cloud's. No wonder they were always together.

"Where's that?"

"On the way to the castle."

Wonderful. That was the absolute last place on this planet he wanted to go. They continued their walk with no further words. Riku rather liked being around Leon. He and Cloud reminded Riku a lot of himself.

Their surroundings changed into scaffolding covered buildings with piles of various construction items spread around. A few townspeople were working and some of those waved to Leon as he and Riku passed. Leon only nodded back.

There was no sign of Sora as they went in deeper. To Riku's dismay, they ended up in front of the castle. He looked up at it, towers in shambles, and suppressed a shiver. He really didn't want to be here.

Leon glanced over, seemingly picking up on Riku's discomfort. "I just want to see if he's with Tron. Then we'll leave."

Riku didn't respond, simply following the tall brunette in. He really hadn't explored much of this place when he was here. This was an unexplored area that truth be told, he could have cared less about. That was until they entered a large circular room.

As soon as he crossed the threshold, he knew where they were. "Ansem's study."

Leon turned to him. "You've never been here before."

Shaking his head, he took a few steps forward. His aqua eyes were drawn to the far wall. His gaze swept over the schematics on the plasterboard. So this was where it all had started.

"Ohmygosh, Leeeooon!" A high pitched squeal caused him to whirl around, stopping just short of drawing his Keyblade. Conversely, Leon didn't even blink.

A petite girl who Riku uncertainly identified as Yuffie was bouncing on her heels in an excited manner. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Tell you what?"

A tall black haired woman was coming in behind her, a mysterious smile on her face. Riku couldn't tell if it was amused or traumatic. "You and Cloud."

"What about us?"

"Oh, come on!" Yuffie stomped a foot. "Sora told us everything!"

Leon sputtered. This was the most reaction any of them had seen from him. If Riku hadn't known better, he swore Leon was about to faint. Or go on a murderous rampage. "He- he what?"

"I always knew you guys had a thing for each other." Yuffie continued, completely oblivious to the tick developing near Leon's left eye. "Of course, we all knew Cloud went that way but I had no idea you-"

A hand shot out to grip the young ninja's throat. Her eyes bugged out as she struggled to break free. Her choked voice tried protesting but Leon wasn't having it. "Where did you see Sora?"

The dead calm tone sent chills down Riku's spine and he was suddenly deathly afraid for Sora.

The other woman folded her arms. "Its okay, Leon. Really. We're all really happy for you two. I'll even baby-sit and help however I can."

Riku finally found his voice. "Sora, what have you gotten yourself into?"

"He's gotten himself dead when I find him." Leon ground out.

"Don't kill him, Leon. You and Cloud are perfect for each other."

"There is nothing going on between Cloud and I, Tifa." Leon let go of Yuffie. She backed away quickly toward Riku.

Tifa frowned heavily. "You don't have to lie, Leon. I'm totally fine with the whole thing. I always knew I never really stood a chance. I'm just glad Cloud's finally found happiness."

Leon sighed in exasperation. "The two of you aren't listening! There is NOTHING going on!"

"But then why did Sora say…?" Tifa actually looked like she was beginning to believe him.

Leon glared over his shoulder at Riku.

Sighing heavily, Riku answered. "It's my fault. He read a story I found and it put the idea in Sora's head. When we got here, we saw Leon giving Cloud a massage and now he's totally flipped out."

"So, Cloud isn't having a baby?" Yuffie said slowly.

"No."

The two females looked at each other before speaking in unison. "Damn."

"That would have been soo cool." Yuffie pouted. "We really were excited about it."

Tifa suddenly looked anxious. "Uh, Yuffie? We should go find Aerith. Like right now."

Yuffie paled a bit, taking a nervous glance at Leon. "Yeah, guessing by Leon's reaction, Cloud's gonna go on a murderous rampage if she-"

Tifa nodded.

"If she what?" Leon asked tensely.

"Oh, nothing!" Yuffie waved her hands franticly before her. "Nothing at all!"

The two quickly raced out of the study leaving the males confused. Leon again glared at Riku. "This is entirely your fault."

"Well how the hell was I supposed to know Sora'd break like that! It was just a stupid fanfic!" Riku defended himself. "You're the one who was sitting on top of Cloud!"

"I was only-" He cut himself off. He turned and looked up with his hands on his hips. "Why am I getting so defensive about this?"

Riku had a theory but he sure as hell wasn't going to say it out loud. Yes, he had issues with self-loathing and guilt but he wasn't suicidal. Suggesting that the man may actually have feelings toward the blonde was likely to get him up close and personal with a Gunblade.

"We need to find Sora."

Riku looked at him with undisguised concern. "You're not going to kill him, are you?"

"Why don't you try the Postern while I check with Tron?" Leon sounded totally normal again. This scared Riku even further.

"Answer my question first."

"Of course I'm not going to kill him." Leon began walking toward the other opening in the room. "I'm going to leave that to Cloud."

As Leon disappeared, Riku waited a moment to process his words. Then he raced out of the room. He had to find Sora fast.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, this is kind of short guys but it's a new plot point I managed to work in. Suggested by The8thSin. Hope this works for you.

Thanks so incredibly much to everyone reviewing. Please keep doing so. If you have ideas let me know and I'll see what I can to.

And so we continue….

All the worlds had completely gone crazy. There was no logic, no reason to anything any more. When had everything gone so completely backwards? Nothing made sense any more.

Sora wandered aimlessly through the ravine, oblivious to where he was going. The natural order of the universe, at least the order he'd been taught, had been changed. His nice, little bubble of security, the constants he always took comfort in when life seemed like nothing but chaos had been popped.

He was so lost in his bewilderment, he would have walked off the cliff-side if a hand hadn't suddenly grabbed the back of his shirt. He snapped to attention immediately and turned to thank his savior.

Glowing cat eyes greeted him with amusement. "I hadn't figured you the suicidal type."

Sora began laughing hysterically. "That's it! Now I know the universe has gone completely berserk! I just freakin' got saved by Sephiroth of all people!"

The silver haired man watched the small brunette begin pacing around the outcropping. Even to his highly trained mind, it was difficult to follow the Keyblade master's rambling. Something about stories, then babies, then-

"What's that about Strife?"

Sora snorted. "Like I'm gonna tell you. You'd just go and torture him about it. Or'd you lie in wait and then kidnap the kid. Yeah, that's what you'd do. Ught nah, I'm not telling you nothing 'bout Cloud's baby."

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes, completely not following. The boy appeared to have gone insane and not in the good way Sephiroth had. The child was babbling almost incoherently. Almost. "If things are so 'backward', then perhaps I simply want to make amends with Cloud."

Sora studied him for a long moment. He seemed to be seriously considering Sephiroth's words. Suddenly he giggled. "Heh, and maybe you are Riku's brother. Or his dad! Oh that would be funny! He does actually kinda look like you"

Sephiroth didn't know this Riku but curiosity was getting the better of him and he wanted to know what Sora was talking about with Cloud and a baby. Personally, he didn't find any thing funny about the idea of him being someone's father. A son of his own would likely be of great help to him in his endeavors. Certainly more useful than those remnants had been.

"Is that so impossible in this world?" He smirked, adding a suggestive hint to his tone.

"No more than Cloud having a baby is." Sora slapped a hand to his mouth.

Rarely did Sephiroth react to anything with more than a mocking laugh or the slight raise of an eye. This however made him sputter. This simply could not be what he thought the boy was saying. He'd seen and heard many strange things in his travels but nothing like this. "Perhaps you'd care to explain?"

Sora slowly shook his head as he cautiously backed away. Damn, damn, damn. He hadn't meant to tell Sephiroth that! Now he'd go after Cloud for sure. Cloud was in no position to fight Sephiroth and while Leon was an awesome fighter, Sora doubted he'd be able to handle the winged embodiment of darkness.

Sephiroth was very deliberate in his approach. "You will explain."

Sora whipped out his Keyblade. He would NOT tell Sephiroth any more than he had and he wouldn't let him attack Cloud.

The tall man sighed. He really didn't want to waste any time on this upstart. There had to be a way to get him to talk without resorting to a pointless battle. He seemed to have enough of those already. "I swear on to you that I mean no ill-intent to either Strife or those in his immediate company."

He doubted the boy would believe him but given the earlier, near insane display, it was worth the attempt.

Sora stared, then amazingly put away his weapon. There really was something wrong with the child. "Cloud's having a baby with Leon."

"He is?" Sephiroth frowned. He had no idea how that was remotely possible but the Keybearer was not the type to lie. This was certainly worth investigating. "Well, I should congratulate them."

"But-" Sora protested.

"Tell Riku his father's waiting to see him." That would distract the simple minded hero. With a whisper of thought and a wisp of darkness, Sephiroth departed the Dark Depths and headed for town.

Sora stood there dumbfounded for several minutes. Did Sephiroth just admit to being Riku's father? Did Riku know about this? If so why hadn't he told Sora? Riku had acted odd when Sora had suggested the idea back home.

Sora stomped his foot and turned on his heel. He was gonna find Riku and demand to know why his best friend hadn't told him about this before.


	5. Chapter 5

Another short one, guys. I'm trying to keep this from getting toooo out of control. Let me know what you think of the plot twist.  I have some evil, I mean wonderful, ideas for Sora. And don't believe for a second that Riku's gonna get off scott free. He did start this.

Much love and appreciation to all who have reviewed and please keep it up. It's what's keeping this thing going.

And now on to the show…….

Two hours had passed and Riku had found nothing. Where the hell could Sora have gone? It wasn't like he could just disappear at will. He had no teleporting ability or anything similar to it and there didn't seem to be that many places to hide in this world.

_I really should have checked this place out more when I was here._ He thought grimly to himself. Not that he ever thought he'd be searching for anyone here. The place had pretty much been abandoned since the Heartless took over, leaving only the few inhabitants of the castle.

"Riku!" He turned to see Yuffie hauling ass up the stone steps. She halted before him, slightly breathless. "You find Sora yet?"

"Do you see him anywhere here?" He answered sarcastically.

"Oh." She frowned looking very worried.

"Why?"

"Uh, well, no real reason." She laughed nervously. "Say, uh, you haven't seen the Gullwings, have you?"

"Who?"

"Never mind. You'd know if you had." She began walking off in a hurry, mumbling loudly. "Damn, I gotta find them fast."

Much as Riku wanted to go after her and demand to know what was going through her little head, he had more important things to be doing. This entire situation was getting completely out of hand and he just _knew_ it was going to get worse. Why in the worlds had he agreed to come here? He could be home, lounging on his tree with his laptop-

No. That damn laptop is what started this nightmare. They just had to read that cursed fanfic. Maybe he should hunt down the author. That's who was really to blame.

He was back in front of Merlin's now. He'd go in, make sure Sora hadn't been destroyed by either Cloud or Leon, grab some water and continue on his way. Hopefully, if the two men were there, they wouldn't try to take out there frustrations on him.

With a deep breath, he entered the house and completely froze in the doorway.

Standing before him, back facing him was a tall man with impossibly long silver hair and three wings. Who the hell was this?

Cloud was on his feet near the table in the center of the room, clearly perturbed by the other man's presence. He was glaring with his fingers curled like he wished his sword was there. ""Leave."

"Why should I do that, Cloud?" The man's voice was deep and soothing. "All I want is to catch up with an old friend."

Cloud snorted. "We were never friends."

"Who are you?" Riku demanded, not liking the feeling he was getting from the two.

The blonde man's eyes widened a bit, as if he was concerned about Riku's presence. The other man slowly turned, the motion sending an involuntary chill down Riku's spine. This guy was intimidating as all hell. It took all of his restraint not to summon his Keyblade.

Cat-like green eyes gazed at him behind long upswept bangs and Riku ceased breathing. By the gods, it was like looking at himself in ten years. Who was this guy?

"You must be Riku." There was amusement in that cool voice. "I must say, the resemblance is uncanny. Perhaps the Keyblade Master was on to something."

What did that mean? "You've seen Sora?"

"Recently." He answered with a mild smirk. "He had some, interesting information."

"Oh, Gaia, no." Cloud groaned. He turned and banged his head on the message board by the computer.

"I must say Cloud, while I've long thought you to be, delicate, what with the way Zack coddled you I never considered you to be so feminine."

Cloud suddenly straightened. Blue eyes glowed with a frightening intensity. "Where is he?"

"Who?"

"Sora."

"The Dark Depths last I saw. Why?" There was genuine curiosity.

"I'm going to kill him." Cloud stepped forward determinedly. "Out of my way, Sephiroth."

The three-winged angel stepped gracefully to the side allowing Cloud to pass. The former general watched in near insane delight as Riku blocked the door. Cloud almost snarled. "Move, Riku."

"You're not killing Sora." He replied firmly. There was no way he was letting Cloud leave this house. Sora would have to deal with Leon on his own if the two crossed paths but Leon wasn't nearly as violent as Cloud was right now. Cloud didn't seem rational any more.

"Riku."

"No. I like you, Cloud but I will not let you harm Sora." Riku tried to reason. "He's just gone temporarily insane."

"He's ruining my life!" The blonde snapped. Suddenly, there were tears in his eyes and to both silver haired men's surprise, he started sobbing. "Why is it always me? Why does my life have to be so difficult? All I ever wanted was to be in SOLDIER, then YOU, "he pointed at Sephiroth, "had to go berserk and now my whole life is a complete mess!"

He then walked up to Sephiroth and began pounding his chest with both hands. "Why? What did I ever do to you? Huh?"

Sephiroth stared down blankly. He then glanced at Riku. "Someone's a little hormonal."

"I am not!" Cloud backed away. Angry glare was back in place. "I'm not pregnant! I'm not fucking Leon!"

"Then the boy was lying?" Sephiroth narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"Yes! He's running around with this story!" Cloud explained. "He's causing massive chaos."

Riku did not like where this was going. "He wasn't lying. He's just, really confused right now."

Sephiroth studied Riku for a long moment. "You and I could be related."

The casual statement didn't go with the serious expression at all. Riku couldn't look away, oddly mesmerized by this man who looked so much like him. Something dark was stirring.

"I look forward to our confrontation."

"What?"

"Come, Cloud." Sephiroth held out a hand. "Let us find the Keyblade Master."

Almost in a daze, Cloud took the offered hand and in a swirl of black, purple, and pink energy the sworn enemies left. Together.

"Oh, hell no." Riku cursed loudly in the now empty room. He fled the house quickly, knowing that he had run out of time. If Sora was going to life beyond the next hour, Riku had to find him NOW.

Maybe, if Sora was lucky, Riku wouldn't kill him himself.


	6. Chapter 6

Well, things are moving along and about to get much worse for our boys. Feed back on this chap is greatly appreciated cuz it will help me decide where I'm going next. There's a couple of routes I can take this and since I'm writing it for you, input helps. Hopefully, this is still holding your attention and I know this chap won't be as funny but trust me it's leading up to something.

Much love and appreciation to everyone following this!!!!!!!

And without further delay…..

"Tifa!" Riku called out to the raven haired woman in front of the synthesis shop.

She turned and when she saw who was calling her, glared. "I'm not talking to you."

What the hell was she mad at him for? It wasn't his fault she'd believed Sora's obviously ridiculous story. Any one with half a brain would have seen the major flaws with the entire thing. "Have you seen Sora? Or Cloud?"

"No." She snapped.

"Damnit." He needed a plan. He couldn't just keep running around in whatever direction.

"Why are you looking for Cloud? I would think he was more pissed at you than Leon is."

"He is." Riku confirmed. He took in his surroundings and the mountains in the distance caught his attention. "Isn't Sephiroth's hang out up there somewhere?"

Tifa, despite her anger at the boy, was now curious. "Yeah, why?"

"Sora's gotta be up there somewhere." Riku moved past her, seemingly ignoring her question. It's the only explanation for how Sephiroth knew about this mess. Sora had to have wandered out there and run into the man. Worlds knew what else he had babbled off to the man in his deluded state. "I gotta find him before Cloud and Sephiroth do."

"Whoa, wait!" Tifa suddenly grabbed his arm. "What do you mean Cloud _and_ Sephiroth?"

"Cloud went with Sephiroth to find Sora."

"No. No, no,no." Tifa shook her head frantically. She whirled around and stomped a few steps away. Then she spun back, pointing an accusing finger at him. "Do you have any idea what you've done?"

"Why is everyone blaming me for this?" Riku shouted.

"It was your fanfic." Leon's low voice spoke directly behind him. He jumped away from the man, noting that he held his Gunblade loosely in hand.

"Ah, well yeah but-"

"Who cares?" Tifa interrupted. "We have to find Cloud!"

Leon narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"Cloud left with _Sephiroth_."

"How the hell did that happen?" Leon's tone was deadly.

"I guess Sora-" Riku began.

"Don't even finish that statement." The tall brunette pointed his weapon at Riku's head. "You will find Sora and LEAVE. I don't want to see either of you for a very long time. Understood?"

"It's not that bad." Riku tried to reason though that was difficult with the business end of a blade in his face. "Don't ruin a friendship over this."

"Says the boy who turned to the darkness because a duck wouldn't let him go with."

Oh, that was a low blow. "Fine! Sora doesn't need friends like you! I'm the only one he needs."

Riku stormed off in the direction of the ravine. He shouted over his shoulder. "At least I face my mistakes, _Squall_!"

He barely ducked in time not to be shot in the back of his head. Ok maybe he went a little too far with that but damnit he was pissed. Why the hell was Leon taking this so personally? He understood Cloud's issues but Leon was really barely involved when you got down to it.

"He missed."

Riku glanced over and was quickly snagged and pulled behind a building. Before he could protest a small hand covered his mouth. A very small hand.

"That's good for you. It means he doesn't really want you dead."

Riku didn't have words for the three hovering… fairies? Who the heck were these?

"You're Riku, right?" The one with blonde braids in a bikini top asked with a giggle. "We have the same name."

"Who are you?"

"Oh! So sorry!" The mismatched eyed one apologized. "We're the Gullwings."

"Yuffie was looking for you." Now he got the line about knowing if he saw them.

"Oh! We have everything ready!" More giggling. "This is going to be great."

"We should find Yuffie." The punked out one finally spoke. "Give him the message."

"Right." The other Rikku folded her arms to mock glare. "Sora is like majorly mad at you for not telling him about Sephiroth being your dad. Friends don't keep things like that from each other."

"What?" Riku was thoroughly confused. Sephiroth himself had made a weird comment along those lines. He hadn't even met the man until an hour ago. How the hell could they be related? "He's not my father."

"Suuure." The pixie winked at him. "I'd probably deny it too. Sephy's a scary dude."

The other two nodded in agreement. The apparent leader of the three spoke again. "Well, anyway. He's mad at you and says he doesn't want to speak to you so don't bother trying to find him."

"Just go home." Punk added.

The three then disappeared.

"What was that?" Riku stared dumbly at the spot of air they had been at. Just what the hell was going on around here? Radiant Garden had gone completely insane. Some curse had placed itself upon the planet and was causing everything to go out of control.

With a heavy sigh, Riku cautiously stepped out from behind the building. Leon and Tifa were no longer present, probably searching for Cloud. He took a moment to collect himself. The minute he found his best friend, he was going to drag him into a dark portal and leave him Betwixt and Between where he couldn't do any more harm.

"Riku."

Gods was he getting tired of hearing his name. Even the gentle voice who said it didn't ease his anxiety.

"What is it, Aerith? Your turn to blame everything on me?"

"Why would I blame you for something you have no control of?"

"Thank you. At least someone gets it." Riku finally looked at her. "What is it?"

"Well, Kairi just got here and-"

"What's Kairi doing here?" He suddenly had a REALLY bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"I had Cid go get her. I thought she'd like to be here. She did get to know us fairly well." Aerith frowned. "Is there a problem?"

"You aren't planning anything, are you?" He tried to sound casual.

"Of course not!" She was totally unconvincing. "Cloud and Leon would never forgive us if we made a big production."

"Look, Aerith. I know Sora is normally honest to a fault but what he told you-"

"Oh, I know."

Riku tilted his head. "You do?"

"I know Cloud better than any one here. And I know he's been hiding something from us." She smiled gently. "So has Leon. We've all tried to get them to speak up but they're both silent. I'm tired of it and this is the perfect opportunity to teach them a lesson."

Wait, Aerith was furthering this fiasco as a punishment? He'd always heard how sweet and wonderful the pink clad woman was. This was diabolical. He suddenly had a new respect for her. "You're probably the only one who can get away with this."

"Oh, I know." She chuckled. Then she frowned. "However, I didn't plan on Sora running into Sephiroth."

"Yeah well, I'm working on that." He bit his lip. "Hey, do I really look like him?"

She studied him for a long moment. "Very much so. You could be one of his clones."

"He has clones? Seriously?"

"Yes, Technically, Cloud's one of them, too. The three of you could be related, wouldn't that be interesting?"

"Uh, yeah." He didn't want to think about any of this. "Look, I have got to find Sora before anything else happens.

"Of course." She nodded. "I'll keep things together here."

Not that he cared but whatever. He nodded and ran off. It wasn't until he was on the outskirts of town that it hit him. How the heck did she know Sephiroth had talked to Sora?


	7. Chapter 7

So, uh, not really happy with how this turned out but, eh. That isn't really for me to decide. I have an important question for y'all: what do you want done with Riku and Sora's relationship? A few have expressed interest in them getting together so I'm taking a vote. Yes, you do have some influence. Use your power.

This one's kinda long. Hope you like it, you'll let me know, right? Right?

Sora continued his determined march through town to find Riku. There had yet to be any sign of the older boy but Sora would not be deterred. He would have answers!

"Well, Cloud, look who we found. Right where I said."

Sora blinked for a moment. No, his eyes weren't deceiving him. There stood Sephiroth with Cloud close beside him. There was something weird about the blonde man's eyes. "What are you two doing here?"

"Looking for you." Sephiroth answered calmly. "Seems you've been causing quite the stir."

Cloud moved forward but Sephiroth gently restrained him. "Not yet, puppet."

"Leave Cloud alone!" Sora shouted summoning Ultima. "I won't let you have him!"

"It's a bit late for that I'm afraid." The conversational tone never left him. "Poor Leon."

Cloud easily left the silver haired man's light grip and launched himself at Sora. Before he reached him however, another blade intervened. Cloud actually snarled. "Don't stop me, Leonheart."

"Snap out of it, Cloud!" Leon ground out, struggling against Cloud's obnoxiously large blade. "This isn't worth it!"

"He can't hear you." Sephiroth grinned. "He's let the darkness take him."

"No! No! No!" Sora stomped a foot. "He loves Leon! They're going to be happy together! I won't let you get in the way!"

"Damnit, Sora!" Leon cursed. "Cloud isn't-"

Cloud chose that exact moment to vomit all over Leon's boots. The three others present took a moment to process this, each with their own reaction. Of course, Sora spoke first. "See? Look at what you did! You've totally upset him!"

Cloud groaned and dropped his sword, careening forward into Leon. The tall brunette barely managed to catch the smaller man. Clearly, this was a case of too much too soon. "I'm getting Cloud out of here."

"Yeah." Sora nodded. "I'll handle Sephy."

The winged man glared. There were few things that drove him into a blind rage. Being called Sephy was near the top of that list. Masamune appeared and pointed directed at the Keyblade Master's delicate little throat. "You will die for that."

"You don't scare me." Sora boasted. "I've beaten you twice already!"

"Only because I got bored." That was a bit of a lie but Sephiroth sure as hell wasn't going to admit this pipsqueak had bested him even if he hadn't been fighting to his fullest.

"Sora!" Riku's voice suddenly cut through the passageway.

Sephiroth's serious expression turned absolutely malevolent. "It's a good thing he likes you, boy."

Then in a burst of darkness, he disappeared, a few feathers floating to the ground.

Riku ran up to his friend, concern temporarily overshadowing his anger with the boy. "Are you okay?"

Sora was looking at him oddly. Riku felt a weird twist in the pit of his stomach. Something about this was really off. Not that anything on this trip had been right. "Sora?"

Next thing he knew, Sora's arms were wrapped tightly around his neck and their lips were pressed together. Riku could only stand there frozen. Where the hell had this come from? When Sora pulled away, he stared down at him.

There were actual tears in those blue eyes. "I knew it! I knew you had feelings for me!"

"Wha- what?"

"It's okay!" The arms tightened around him again and Sora pressed his face into his shoulder. "I really like you, too."

Riku had no idea how to respond to that one. Was Sora serious or was this part of his delusion? Did Sora even know what he was saying? "What brought this on?"

"Sephiroth said you liked me." Sora then pouted. "Oh, yeah. Why didn't you tell me he was your father?"

Riku's eyes hardened which unfortunately for him only made the resemblance stronger. "Did he tell you that?"

"Yeah but you should have been the one to tell me." Sora tapped lightly on his chest. He seemed completely oblivious to Riku's now furious stance.

"Ohh, when I find Sephiroth…" Riku could not believe that the man had taken advantage of Sora's mental state and began playing his own mind games with the boy. He thought Sephiroth had more honor than that.

"Don't be mad, Ri. We should make sure Cloud's okay." Sora began tugging Riku down the road. "He threw up all over Leon."

"He did?"

"Yeah. It was gross." Sora jumped and turned in front of his now perceived boyfriend. "And we can tell them about us! Yuffie's gonna totally freak."

"Uh, Sora, look…" He trailed off. Sora actually seemed really happy about his development. With all the other things he was going to have to straighten out, would it hurt to put this one at the bottom of the list?

"Never mind."

Sora nodded and took his hand again. "So let's go."

With a silent sigh and a flick of hair to get the bangs out of his eyes, the little bit they would, he allowed Sora to lead him. He knew he was going to have to be the one to fix all of this and he wasn't looking forward to it. How had one misunderstanding (if it could be called that) lead to all of this? Sephiroth certainly wasn't helping the situation and after that conversation with Aerith, he had an awful feeling she was plotting to use this to her advantage somehow.

And then there was Sora. What the hell had gone off in that little mind of his to trigger all of this? Had he finally snapped from the pressure? Was Roxas somehow causing this mental breakdown? Something had to have happened.

"There you two are." The slightly squeaky voice came from behind. They turned together to face the Gullwings. Rikku was the one speaking. "Are you guys going out? That's sooo cute!"

"Please." The leather one pleaded.

"Oh, come on, Paine. They're cute and you know it." Tiny fists were placed on hips. "Even you said Cloud and Leon were cute."

"Enough, you two." The sandy haired one shushed them. "Leon has instructed us to keep them away and that's what we're gonna do."

"What?" Sora's mouth dropped. "Why?"

"You've caused enough trouble." Paine answered flatly. "Apparently, Cloud's in pretty bad shape."

"Yeah, Yuffie even cancelled our baby shower." Rikku frowned. "I was really looking forward to it, too."

"Look," Riku tried to reason. "For the last time, Cloud isn't pregnant."

"But, Riku-"

"He isn't, Sora." He took a breath. 'Look, I don't know what's gotten into that simple little mind of yours but you've taken a stupid fanfic and totally blown it out of proportion."

Sora's lower lip trembled. He shoved Riku roughly and spun away leaving Riku stunned.

"I can't believe you!" The Gullwings surrounded him each one glaring. Rikku tried to slap him. "How dare you say that to him!"

"You are a cruel person." The blondish (what the heck was her name) one snapped.

"Beyond harsh." Paine added.

"Don't even try to come further into town. We'll run you right back out."

Rikku stuck out her tongue and the three left.

"What just happened?" Riku asked no one.

_Apparently ruined a non-existent relationship._

Riku jumped and looked frantically around. "Who said that?"

Deep laughter. _Surely you haven't forgotten me. You and I were so close._

What. The. Hell. The voice was indeed in his own head and now so painfully familiar he almost cried. "What the hell do you want? I thought I was finally rid of you."

_You'll never be rid of me so long as darkness exists in your heart._

So much for Diz knowing everything. "Answer my question."

_The chaos you are currently experiencing has me amused._

"Well, I'm glad someone's enjoying this." Riku muttered irritably.

_If I were you, and in a real sense I am,_ Xenahort's voice was thick with his amusement, _I would be going after the Keyblade Master now. No telling what he'll do now that his heart has been wounded by the one he loves._

"What's that supposed to mean?"

The voice fell silent.

"Damnit!" Riku kicked the nearest rock, then cursed in pain. Limping slightly, he stalked off in the direction Sora had run. He was going to find that troublesome friend of his and kill him. Then he'd see about taking out the rest of them, Sephiroth first. They would all suffer for making him go through this.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm in the process of wrapping this up, guys. Don't worry, it will end with a bang (I hope) and there's still a few chapters. I realize the tone's kinda changed and I hope this one's on the road back to silly, funville. Next chap will provide some answers, some resolutions and more insanity. At least that's the plan.

My eternal thanks to all of you who have stuck with this so far and I hope I haven't let any of you down too bad.

Moving on…..

"Stupid! Stupid!" Riku was still fuming. He stomped through the Zero district only half-searching for his wayward and now apparently insane best friend. "What the hell is going on in that spike ridden head of yours?

_I could tell you._

"No, thanks." Riku muttered.

_Don't you want to put an end to all of this?_

Oh, gods how badly he did. _I'm not letting you out to play._

_I didn't say anything of the sort._

"You didn't have to. You're part of me, remember?" Riku spat out, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from the few townsfolk he passed. What, they'd never see a guy talk to his invisible adversary before? He was sure Cloud often wandered around muttering darkly to himself.

_So you don't want to know what's plaguing the Keyblade Master?_ Xehanort taunted. _I'm not asking much in return and the information works to both of our advantage._

Riku found himself seriously considering this. "What would you want?"

_I have business with Sephiroth. I only want you to allow me control long enough to conduct it._

Sephiroth? What the hell type of business could Xehanort have with that deranged lunatic? Then again, Riku probably really didn't want to know. "You know I plan to kill Sephiroth, right?"

_Yes, and once my business is complete, I will even allow you access of my power to give you a fighting chance against him. No strings attached._

"Fine." Riku wasn't sure why he was agreeing to this. He was certain it was a trick but right now, he didn't really care. "What's wrong with Sora?"

When Xehanort explained it, Riku's eyes widened. "How the hell does that work?"

_I do not know but I do not believe there is a way to counter it._

"Great."

Riku turned a corner and froze. Sora had his keyblade drawn and was idly hitting a plastic ball into the air repeatedly with it. He looked stoned.

"Sora?" Riku cautiously moved toward him. The smaller boy didn't pay him any attention. He simply continued batting the ball. "Sora?"

"Who do you love more, me or Kairi?"

"What?" Riku blinked.

Sora let the ball drop. It bounced away and he turned to glare at Riku. "You're mine, Riku! No one else can have you!"

He stalked forward and Riku found himself slowly backing away, a nervous flutter in his stomach. Something about the way Sora was looking at him.

Next thing he knew, Sora had pushed him to the ground, keyblade forgotten in exchange for gripping Riku's shirt. He straddled the older teen and stared down at him with lust filled eyes and a demented grin. "You and I are going to be together forever, right Riku? That's what they all say, right?"

"Uh, Sora-" He was cut off by Sora's lips crashing into his. Under entirely different circumstances, Riku might have felt differently about this turn of events. Now however all he could do was roughly shove the other off of him.

Sora lay flat on his back, stunned for a moment. Riku had enough time to catch his breath before Sora began sobbing loudly. "Why don't you love me anymore? What does Cloud have that I don't? I bet the baby isn't even Leon's is it?"

He sat up looking horrified. "That's it, isn't it? Cloud's baby is with you!"

The right turns were coming way to fast for Riku to follow. "What-"

"It's true!" Sora jumped to his feet. "I have to tell Leon. How could you, Riku?"

Sora bolted down the street as Riku stood there completely dumbfounded. What just happened?

Deep laughter echoed in his head. _That was unbelievably amusing._

"Shut up." Riku snapped. "First I fix Sora. Then you get me, got it?"

_Understood._ There was a long pause and the words that followed odd._ To help him, make certain your own heart and mind are certain._

What did that mean? "Free advice, I'm touched. Now be quiet."

Thankfully, Xehanort listened.

Sora raced to Merlin's, intent on finding Leon. He figured he'd be at his lover's side, caring for Cloud like the devoted man he was. Sora hated being the one to tell him what a two timer Cloud was. And to make it worse, he was pretty sure he knew the reason behind Cloud's actions.

He burst through the door and pointed an accusing finger at Cloud. "You are a lying sack of filth!"

Cloud stared at him through hazy eyes. It was clear he really didn't grasp anything going on around him. Leon was beside him just as Sora expected. His eyes narrowed dangerously. He growled in warning. "Sora."

"I'm sorry, Leon but it's time you heard the truth. Cloud's been cheating on you with _my_ Riku! That's Riku's baby, not yours." Sora had a look of triumph. "_And_ I know why."

Sora continued completely ignoring the increasingly angry expression on Leon's face and Cloud's nearly vacant. He also didn't notice Kairi, Yuffie or Aerith on the other side of the room. "See the one Cloud's really in love with is Sephiroth but for whatever reason Seph can't make babies any more so he got Riku to knock Cloud up cause he's his son. Ha! See, the game is up you sick, twisted man. And now," the Keyblade appeared, "I'm gonna kill you for stealing my boyfriend!"

"Whoa!" Kairi jumped before Sora to stop him. Yuffie managed somehow to keep Leon back. Cloud remained motionless, staring down with a hand pressed to his stomach.

"I'm having a baby?"

"No, Cloud." Aerith hurried over and sat beside him. She laid him back and smoothed his hair. Once he was settled, she looked to the others. "Take it outside. Now."

Her tone left no room for argument. Kairi and Yuffie steered the two dark haired males out keeping as much distance between them as they could. Once outdoors, Yuffie pushed Leon toward the bailey as Kairi sat Sora on the step.

Yuffie called over her shoulder. "Regroup in fifteen?"

"Yeah."

Sora was breathing heavily and sweating profusely. Kairi looked him over closely. He did not look well. "What happened, Sora?"

"Riku's a sadistic asshole, just like his father. Why the hell didn't I see it before?"

"What father?" She frowned. "Riku's dad is dead."

"Nooooo." Sora shook his head almost drunkenly. "Sephiroth's his dad."

Kairi laughed loudly. "No he isn't."

"Yeah, told me himself."

"Who told you? Riku?"

"Sephiroth." Sora put his head in his hands. "My head hurts. So does my heart."

Something extremely weird was going on here. Kairi had gotten a weird vibe when she arrived but Cid wouldn't talk to her about it, only said Aerith wanted her to come. Once she got here however, Aerith had simply said things had changed and Kairi was to just hang out and enjoy her unplanned visit.

Then Cloud had been brought in, practically comatose. Leon was muttering something about insane teenagers and Sephiroth being no better. Yuffie had shown up at some point, completely freaking out over Cloud's condition and Aerith herself looking on with concern and a touch of regret.

"Riku doesn't love Cloud. He loves me, right?"

Kairi stared at Sora. Where had that come from? Yeah, she had teased both of them before about the closeness of their relationship but she didn't seriously think anything was going on. Had something developed while they were here?

"Kairi! Don't let Sora run!"

She looked up to see Riku running toward them. Sora tensed to stand and she did the first thing she thought of. She threw herself on top of him. Sora struggled a little but she didn't move.

Riku stopped before them, slightly out of breath. "Has he been inside yet?"

"Riku, what is going on?" She asked. "Sora is like totally… off."

"Yeah, some vengeful Nobodies are causing it."

"Huh?"

"I'll explain later after I get everyone settled so I only have to explain it once."

"Hey! Didn't we tell you guys to stay out?" A high pitched voice spoke behind him.

"Look, I know- OWW! Damnit!" He glared daggers at the silver haired pixie who'd hit him on the side of his face with a skull embossed sword. The other Rikku had circular daggers and was moving to attack his other side. He didn't see the last one.

"Leave him alone!" Kairi shouted but they ignored her. The two continued to pound on him. He swatted at them like they were annoying insects. Their attacks were more irritating than painful.

He finally managed to shoo them away when something banged and he felt something bite into his back. He dropped to his knees cause whatever that was HURT. Over his head, Kairi saw a third flying girl with a smoking revolver.

"Good job, Yuna!" Rikku congratulated, high fiveing her.

"Did I just get shot?"

"Yep, and I'll do it again if you don't leave town now." Yuna's voice didn't match her words at all but he knew she was dead serious.

"Look, I know what's going on around here. I need to talk to everyone to fix it."

"And why should we believe you?" Paine asked seriously.

"Cause if you don't, this is only going to get worse."

The three discussed this quietly among them selves.

_They won't believe you. Perhaps if you let me try…_

"No."

Everyone looked at him strangely. Great, now he looked like the insane one. "Ah, it's nothing. I thought I heard something."

"Seems to be a lot of that going around." Leon's cold voice sounded. Yuffie stood beside him looking really uncomfortable. "Now what's creating this madness?"

Before Riku, could answer, Aerith threw open the door. Her face was bruised. "Cloud's gone."


	9. Chapter 9

More twisted drama and schizophrenic moments. The end is near so bear with this chap if it's not too good. The next will be better (helps if y'all review with your ideas, hint, hint). Finally some explanation to the chaos!

Thank you mucho to everyone who's found any enjoyment in this mess. I hope I managed to make you smile or chuckle at some point during all this.

On to the show…

"What d'ya mean gone?" Yuffie gapped.

Aerith shook her head, clearly confused herself. "A portal opened and he just got up and walked through."

Leon glared at the three teenagers, focusing particularly Riku. "Answers. Now."

"It's the Organization." Riku rushed out. "Roxas is apparently mad about something so he started messing with Sora's head. Axel, Demyx, and Zexion decided to join in and they're the one's screwing around with everyone else."

He was given several blank stares. Only Sora seemed to understand what he was saying. "Oh, that's why my head hurts."

"Yeah, and why you're acting so crazy."

"So how do we stop it?" Leon's glare never wavered.

"I have no idea."

"Lot of fucking help you are." He turned on his heel. "I'll find Cloud. You figure out how to fix this."

"I'm coming with." Aerith rushed over. Leon nodded curtly and they went off in a hurry.

"All right." Yuffie folded her arms. "Why the heck is this Roxas guy pissed?"

Riku shrugged. "How the hell do I know? He's in Sora's head not mine."

"Then how do you know that's what's going on?" Kairi frowned.

"Uh, I just, well, I just do, okay?"

_Not going to tell them about me? I'm hurt._

"Shut up!" Riku hissed. Damn it all if that bastard didn't leave him alone…

A shuriken hit him in the forehead. "Don't you start acting crazy on me! I'm not gonna be the only sane person 'round here."

"Now there's a scary idea." Everyone whirled their heads in the same direction. A tall red head in black stood where Leon had looking smug as all hell.

"Reno?!"

"Nope." The man shoved her to the side. "Used to be and he never did like you."

He approached the other three. "Kairi, lookin' good. Has Xemnas tried buggin' you yet, Riku?"

"What?"

"Guess not." He then knelt before Kairi and Sora. He push the girl over, more gently than he had Yuffie, and took Sora's arm. He sat him up carefully. "Oh, Roxas. You able to talk yet?"

Sora looked confused and opened his mouth- But the voice that came out wasn't his. "This isn't working, Axel."

"Yeah, I know. Sephiroth's fucking the whole thing up, the sick fuck." Axel shook his head. "Zexion is working on him right now."

"How the hell are you here?" Riku spat out. The completely vacant expression on Sora's face was terrifying him.

"Oh, you know." He said vaguely with a wave of his hand. Then he got serious. "You're not doing your part. This isn't fun anymore."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Here we all were ready for some free porn and a little chaos but you're too freakin' dense to see what you're supposed to be doing!" Axel threw up his hands is exasperation. "Least Cloud and Leon are cooperating."

"Huh?" Yuffie scratched her head.

"Whatever." He pointed at Riku. "YOU better get your ass busy. Literally. We all want to see some action, don't we Rox?"

"Hell, yeah." Sora responded in that other voice. A leer came across his face as he slowly stood. He strutted up to Axel and wrapped his arms around the Nobody's neck.

Then Axel bent down and kissed him, tongue and all. The two girls gaped not noticing Riku's face going very cold. Something in his eyes changed and a wind suddenly picked up.

Sora pulled away from Axel, flushed. He turned to smirk evilly at the silver haired teen. "Jealous much?"

"Get away from him now." The words were spoken with dead calmness.

Axel let out a girly chuckle. "Ohhh, scary. Tell me you're getting all this, Dem."

"Yep." The owner of the new voice was unseen. "Hey, we gotta get out of here. Zexion says he's got an idea for Sephiroth."

Axel's eyes lit up. "Oh, hell, yes! Don't worry, Rox. We're getting this all recorded for when you come back."

He disappeared in a swirl of darkness.

"What was that?" Yuffie was confused as all hell. Sora was now standing dazedly by himself. Kairi slowly approached him.

"Stay away!" Riku bellowed. He nearly teleported to Sora's side. He grabbed hold of the smaller boy and snarled at the girl. "He's mine, understand?"

"Riku…" Sora whispered weakly. It was his voice again. "Roxas is…"

"Being a total bastard. I figured that out. We'll take care of him, I promise." Riku assured him, brushing back the sweat covered spike that had fallen in his face. "Won't we?"

_Just remember our deal._

He focused his attention on Kairi. "You so much as try touching him and I will kill you where you stand."

She was clearly scared senseless, nodding mechanically.

"Sora, love. You stay here with Kairi." He framed Sora's face with his hands. "Ri-ri is gonna take care of everything.""

"Yes, Ri."

"Good." He kissed him roughly, as if he was trying to erase any possible memory of Axel's kiss. Then he whirled to face Yuffie. "You are coming with me."

Yuffie hadn't quite lost her senses. "What happened to you?"

"What?"

"You, you're completely different all the sudden." She put hands on her hips. "I'm not going with you anywhere. You're crazier than Vincent in chaos mode. I mean totally schizo."

"Fine, we'll do this without you." Riku stormed off. "We'll show them and Daddy dearest who's in charge."

The two girls watched him leave, stunned. Sora simply stood there. Yuffie glanced at Kairi. "If Seph's really his dad, I hope he spanks some sanity back into him."

"It's a sad day when Sephiroth is the only other sane person in the world."

"Yeah." The Ninja agreed. She looked Sora over. "So uh, what do we do with him?"

"He's acting exactly as Cloud was before he-"

A dark portal suddenly materialized. Sora automatically began walking toward it.

"Sora!" Kairi ran over followed closely by Yuffie. The girls got on either side of him and tried to stop him. He lashed out both arms, hitting both of them in the face. This caused them to stumble a bit and he continued unimpeded.

The portal swallowed him and disappeared.

"Riku is sooo gonna kill us." Yuffie said flatly.

"Not necessarily." A deceptively gentle voice corrected. Both turned to see a short man with blue-silver hair covering one eye looking at them thoughtfully. He was clearly the silent observer type.

"Who are you?"

"Zexion. I'll take you to the others if you like. The show is about to start and I doubt either of you want to miss it."

"Show?" Yuffie echoed.

The man's expression never changed from its idly speculative appearance. "Of course, haven't you figured it out by now? All of this, it's simply a game."

Kairi narrowed her eyes. "You're horrible. How can you mess with people's lives like this?"

"We are facilitating several things that needed to happen. Why not find some amusement with it?" He turned and raised a hand. A vortex of swirling energy appeared. "Now, are you coming?"

They shared a quick look before both stepped forward and into the darkness, following Zexion.


	10. Chapter 10

See below for notes on this one. Ooooh, change of format. Scary.

Xehanort was strangely silent as Riku walked toward the castle. Riku didn't know how he knew it but everything was centered there. That's where Cloud and Sephiroth were and soon, everyone else would be too.

He had reached his limit to tolerance and in some ways far exceeded it. This would end here and now and he and Sora would go live happily ever after, with no incomplete beings to interfere. They would all be free.

Suddenly, Riku slowed his pace. Wait a minute, why was he so concerned about the Nobodies puppet mastering all of this? He'd never particularly cared about them before. His eyes widened and he actually stumbled.

"You aren't Xehanort, are you?"

_Well, that depends entirely upon your point of view._

Oh, shit. "Xemnas."

_Yes._

"It's been you this whole time?"

_You've been distracted. I must say, you have an absolutely fascinating heart. Wonderfully complex. No wonder my Heartless found you such a suitable host._

"I'm flattered. Now what the hell do you want?" Riku snarled. A near standing man turned and opened his mouth to protest. Riku threw out a dark aura and blasted him backward into a dirt pile. "Not you."

Rich laughter filled his head. _You are amusing._

"Shut up and talk." Well that was a contradictory statement.

_Have it your way. All I want is the same as before. To be free of this hollow existence._

"Well then why didn't you stay dead, dumbass?" Riku snorted.

_Nothing goes on forever. You said it yourself. And since we Nobodies are nothing, well even you should see the inerrant problem with death._

"Whatever." He didn't want to get into a transcendental conversation with a voice in his head. "So what do you really want from me?"

_That is what you need to determine. You are the one all of this madness is centered upon. Just remember we have an agreement._

Riku just knew the bastard was smirking. He also knew he wasn't getting any more information from him. "Damned shadow of a heartless freak who can't speak in anything but a monotone cause he has no personality. If he thinks he can tell me what to do, he's a bigger idiot than I thought. No one bosses me around."

He looked up realizing he had reached the castle. With a feral grin, he rubbed his hands together before throwing them both out in a double aura. The gate blew back, off its hinges in a shower of sparks. He crossed the threshold emerging through the smoke. "Honey, I'm home."

No one replied of course, but it brought a smile to his face. How long had it been since he called this place home? He still had the castle's layout memorized. Now where would Sephiroth hole himself up?

"Riku."

He turned and there was Leon with Aerith looking extremely worried behind him. "So you figured they'd be here, too."

"Where else makes sense?" Leon retorted.

"Has anything made sense?" Aerith murmured, ignoring Leon's angry glare.

"First we find Cloud. Then I kill you." He pointed at Riku.

"You will try." He responded coolly. Turning he headed for the far staircase. "They won't be below. It's too damp and Sephiroth won't risk his puppet's health."

Leon suddenly gripped his arm roughly. "Don't you ever call Cloud that again, you little cretin! That may be your father's name for him but you will never say it again."

Riku yanked himself free and smirked. "Jealous, Leon? Your little _friend_ left you for a silver haired pretty boy, how tragic."

"That's it." Leon moved to punch Riku but Aerith somehow managed to stop him.

"That's enough you two." She didn't actually raise her voice but there was a power behind it that made both listen. "You don't even know what you're saying any more. We need to find Cloud."

"Whatever." Leon eased back. His tone became conversational. "So where are they?"

"My guess is either the main throne room or the master bedroom." Leon flinched at the word bedroom. "I say we check that one first."

"Let's go." The brunette snapped. There was an unusual determination to his step.

Aerith watched after him before looking at Riku. Something in her expression calmed Riku. The fury inside him quelled. Why had he been so angry again?

"Are you coming?" Leon growled over his shoulder.

The two stepped over to the stair case. Riku took the lead, knowing exactly where he was going. It was absolutely silent during the decent up. No one knew what they would find and if each was honest, really hoped it would be nothing.

Then they heard it.

"That's isn't…" Aerith whispered.

Leon and Riku froze, cold dread in the pit of their stomachs. They didn't need to answer the woman's unfinished question. With the briefest of glances to one another, they slowly finished ascending the stairs. At the end of the hall, an over sized door was cracked open spilling light out.

And that was where the noise was coming from.

With increasing terror, they approached. Fifteen yards out, Yuffie came running from the room screaming. She ran full tilt into Leon clinging to him like she would die if she let go. "Oh, god, oh, god, oh god, Leon! It's- it's, oh, god!"

"What, Yuffie?"

She shook her head in frantic denial. Finally, Leon slapped her. The moment he did, she dropped to her knees in a submissive position. "It's… it's totally impossible!"

"What is?" Riku asked impatiently.

"Cloud and Sephiroth and…" Yuffie cringed when Leon whipped his head down in her direction. She acted rather like a beaten dog, Riku thought. It was kinda amusing.

"Yuffie, pet, what did we discuss?"" Leon's voice was filled with strained patience.

"Only speak when commanded."

"Very good." He actually patted her head. "Now be good. I don't want to punish you."

Ookay, apparently Yuffie had become Leon's pet. She beamed up at him.

"Now what about Cloud and Sephiroth?"

"They have a baby."

"What??" Three voices joined in concert. Without waiting for a reply, they sprinted the rest of the way and burst through the door, skidding to a halt. Kairi was standing near them with a man sporting blue-grey hair. But she was barely noted.

In the center of the room was a large bed where Cloud was lying comfortably. And in his arms there was indeed an infant, swaddled tightly. They could see just enough to note the child did in fact have silver hair.

"How," Leon sputtered. "How is this possible?"

"Hi, Riku." Cloud spoke softly. His eyes were completely blank. There was a peculiar echo in his voice. "See? It worked. Thank you."

Everyone's head turned to Riku demanding to know what Cloud was talking about. He could only shake his head slowly, just as confused as everyone else.

"Well, Riku, it seems you've played your part perfectly." Sephiroth's cool tone came from the open balcony window. With him stood Sora, blue eyes shinning with tears. "You have broken this one's heart. I believe right about now, he wishes he no longer had one, isn't that right?"

Sora nodded mechanically.

And suddenly, everything fell into place for Riku. He knew exactly what the goals of the Nobodies were and even the great Sephiroth was a tool. While he was having this revelation, things were getting odder beside him.

"Cloud." Leon cautiously approached the new… mother? "Where did you get that baby?"

"You know where babies come from, Squall." Cloud answered mechanically. "His name is Shin. Isn't he beautiful?"

Leon let the name thing go this time. "Uh, yeah."

"Here, sit with me." Cloud shifted just a bit. When Leon did, he placed the baby in Leon's lap. Leon scrambled to take hold of it. Next thing he knew Cloud was crying. "This should be our baby."

Leon's eyes widened, trying to wrap his mind around these weird events. No matter how he figured it, he had no explanation for the child in his arms. Nor why it felt strangely good to have it there.

"Awww, Leon. He's sooo cute!" Yuffie gushed. "Oh my gosh, he has like amber eyes! Look Aerith!"

The flower girl stepped over, carefully observing Cloud. She was analyzing every move he made and each word he said. "That's a very adorable baby. Who's is it, Cloud?"

"Mine." Cloud's eyes sparked, the first real reaction since they'd entered the room.

"How did you get him?"

"How did I…?" He narrowed his eyes in confusion. Something was breaking through. Suddenly, he reached over and snatched the child from Leon. "No! He's mine! Mine… my… precious. Yes, my precious."

He began stroking the infant's silver hair, muttering precious repeatedly.

Meanwhile on the other side of the room…

"Sora." Riku approached slowly. He had to word this very carefully. There was no way to know how Sora was going to react. "I don't know what you're thinking right now, but everything you think isn't true."

"So you don't love me?" His voice cracked and he sounded truly heartbroken.

Something in Riku wanted to break with it. "I, I don't know, Sora. I can't be sure of anything right now. Neither can you."

_Lair. You do know. Tell him or you'll lose him to Roxas._

"Shut up, Xemnas."

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. His expression turned malevolent as he studied Riku. "I see now."

"See what?"

"I can play this game also." The former SOILDER bent to whisper into Sora's ear. The totally out of the blue, he licked the earlobe and Sora moaned. Unreasonable rage rose within Riku and only part of it was his.

_Let me out._ Xemnas's voice was completely cold. _Now._

"No." Riku glared at the other silver haired man. He ignored the twisting inside him. He would not lose control. Sephiroth would not be allowed to use Sora to taunt him, or rather Xemnas. Judging by the way the other presence within him was reacting, the two had some kind of sick, twisted relationship going and he'd be damned if he was going to let them use his body to… gross.

Trying to sound less disgusted than he was, Riku smirked. "So how long you been Xemnas's bitch, Seph?"

"I am no one's bitch." Sephiroth snarled.

"Oh, you're a total uke. Everyone know's that. How else could Cloud continuously pwn you?" Riku knew he was treading dangerous ground but he had to get Sephiroth away from Sora. He managed a quick glance at Kairi who until now had been simply staring at the events unfolding around her in total and utter shock.

She caught his eye and seemed to understand what he was doing. She nodded once and carefully began creeping over to Sora. She tugged on his arm and he barely reacted. While she did this, Riku continued to distract Sephiroth.

"Dude, I mean, look at Cloud! How pathetic does one have to be to be beaten by that scrawny sack of bones." A sense of excitement was stirring inside him as Sephiroth began to approach him. It wasn't the type one got when about to engage in battle. It was more, intimate. What the hell?

"Is this what you want?" Sephiroth's tone was low, seductive. He stopped just before the barely shorter teen. "Then you shall have it."

And suddenly Riku was being kissed like he'd never been before. Sephiroth's tongue was in his mouth and damn it all if it didn't feel just a little good. He found himself responding, raising hands to grip long hair. Elation wound it's way around him

He no longer had control of his own body.

Xemnas was calling the shots now.

sorry, cliffie

Okay, well, there were A LOT of little jokes in this chap which hopefully you guys were able to catch a lot of. If not, sorries. A few references to game play and some other things. A really cool Advent Children pic for anyone who knows where Shin comes from.

If you couldn't tell, this one's almost done.

It will probably be a little while for the next chap. I'm gonna be at Acen this weekend (anime con in Chicago) and I'm driving up Thurs. Ten hours in a car, yay.

Any way, please get reviewing, guys. I love the feedback.

Later.


	11. Chapter 11

All right y'all. This chap is more serious than funny cuz I had to explain some things. Next will be more fun. (There's still some good stuff in this one I think just not as much.) No one guessed the baby's identity, but I'm not really surprised. He comes from Shin from Tenhjo Tenge. He looks just like Seph and has a long ass sword too.

Please review this one guys. It was really tricky to write.

"Oh, my gosh!" Yuffie exclaimed in disbelief. Leon and Aerith followed her stare, gaping at Sephiroth and Riku. "Is that hot or not? I can't tell."

Sora had fallen to his knees, sobbing. He tugged at his hair, pulling chunks of it out. "No, no, no, no. I'm not seeing this. Riku wouldn't do this to me. Riku loves me. He wouldn't do this."

Kairi had an arm wrapped around him. "Sora, it's okay. Let's just go, okay? Everything's okay. I'll draw you a picture and make everything right again."

She paused. Where had that idea come from? She couldn't draw to save her life. Suddenly, she drew away. Not quite sure what she was doing, she slapped Sora hard. "Stop it, Roxas. This isn't accomplishing anything."

"But it's funny as all hell." Axel laughed loudly. "I can't wait to start selling this shit on the internet. Those rabid fangirls are gonna eat this up!"

"Don't lose sight of the goal, Axel." Zexion cautioned.

"As if I could." Axel waved a hand, walking over to Sora. As he passed, he shoved Riku away from Sephiroth. "You're a sick man, Xemnas."

Riku glared with yellowed eyes. "You're one to talk, pedophile."

Sephiroth, meanwhile was standing there, blinking dumbly. When he straightened, his eyes grew horribly bright and a snarl formed on his lips. The focus of this directed itself on Zexion. "What did you do to me?"

"Gave you what you want." The angled banged man answered calmly. "You have Cloud completely under your control and a worthy heir to your legacy. At least for the immediate future."

He turned to study Cloud, who was still in his own reality murmuring to the child in his arms. "That is not my child."

"Disowning him already?" Zexion shrugged. "In that case, we'll take the child."

Demyx appeared out of no where and approached Cloud. When he reached out for the child, Cloud nipped at him. Then he growled like a mother wolf protecting her cubs. The musician sighed. "Come on, Cloud. Let's not make this hard."

A Gunblade to the front of his neck silenced him. "Leave Cloud and his child alone. I don't know how this happened or why but I will not allow anyone to harm them."

"Nor will I." Riku added, Where the hell had the lightsabers come from? Kairi wondered. Oh, yeah, he was possessed by Xemnas. "Back away, Leonheart."

"Make me, you arrogant brat."

Riku's body twisted and he brought red lighted blades up in a swirl. Demyx shrieked as he ducked away quickly, running over to hide behind Zexion. Leon now found himself fighting a possessed Riku.

Kairi by now had gotten Sora to his feet though he was still crying hysterically. Turning, she was startled by Axel's close proximity. He was looking at Sora lustily softly whispering. "Come on, Sora. Give up already."

"What are you trying to do?" Kairi demanded.

"That's not your problem. Now go away." He casually threw a fire ball in her direction, which she had to let go of Sora to avoid.

He fixed his attention on Sora and spoke encouragingly. "Come on. Give me back my Roxas. Let your heart break."

"What?" Kairi shouted. "No! Sora listen to me. It's going to be okay I promise. Don't let go!"

Something flashed in Sora's eyes. "Kairi, Roxas just wants… it's no use."

A loud scream drew everyone's attention. The unearthly tone echoed in the high ceiling room.

Near the bed, Sephiroth was standing tall with a sadistic grin and burning eyes. Masamune was held before him in a prayer position. The end of the sword was sticking out of Riku's stomach. "Never again, Xemnas."

"Oh my god! He killed Riku!" Yuffie exclaimed.

"You bastard!" Demyx finished.

Sora gasped and ran over as Sephiroth calmly removed the overly long blade from the teenager's body. He dropped to his knees and cradled Riku to him. "No, Riku. Please don't die. Please."

"Sora." Blood trickled out of Riku's mouth. "I'm sorry." He coughed. "I should have told you…"

"Told me what, Riku?" No answer. "Riku? Riku!"

"He's dead?" Demyx's eyes widened. He turned his head to stare at Zexion. "You said no one would get hurt, Zexy."

"I'm not dead yet."

"We'll have to keep his body."

"I'm not dead."

Zexion stepped over and looked Riku over carefully. "No? Well, you soon will be. Pick him up, Dem. We'll take him to the lab."

"I want to walk."

"No, you're dying." Zexion corrected. "Say your good-byes."

"He's not dying!" Sora protested.

"Yes he is." Sephiroth brought Masamune's tip to Riku's throat. He moved to thrust but a hand on his arm stopped him.

He didn't bother to turn. "What is it, Strife?"

"You won't kill your own blood."

"He is not of my blood." Seph growled. "Xemnas managed to manipulate me and for that he must perish. To do that, this one must die."

"If Riku dies, then you have to kill me too!" Sora declared. "I don't care what he's done! I won't live without him."

"Fair enough."

"No!" Axel ran over panicked. He placed himself between the pair on the floor and the blade. "Sora can't die yet!"

"Why? So you and Roxas can keep fucking him up?" Leon spoke for the first time in a while.

"All we want is to be together! We were trying to break Sora so Roxas could come back."

"There has to be a better way than this." Aerith reasoned.

"Well, yeah, we could have just turned him into a heartless again but," Axel rubbed his neck. "Well…"

"We're really ticked at Sora!" Demyx blurted out.

"So to get revenge on him you felt it necessary to screw up everyone else's lives?" Leon looked about ready to use a Limit five on the Nobodies.

"Vexen had a theory I found quite intriguing and I decided to use the opportunity to try it." Zexion explained. "I must say, it went better than expected."

"And just what was this theory?" Sephiroth's tone was barely controlled.

"That by bringing a few individuals hidden feelings to the surface, it would cause others' desires to rise. Since these emotions want to be hidden, it would cause instability."

"So wait." Leon brought a hand to his forehead. "All of this happened because we're hiding our emotions from one another?"

"Exactly."

"So to stop it, all we have to do is admit to them."

"Yes."

"NO!!" Sora suddenly screamed. He bent his head down and began crying.

Axel actually looked upset. "Riku's heart has stopped."


	12. Chapter 12

This was a toughy. I had to get a lot resolved (or at least started to be resolved). I know this chap isn't nearly as funny but I hope it's at least humorous. Next will be the final fall out and closing. I think there's gonna be an epiloge but I'm not too sure.

As always, PLEASE review. This mean's you. You know who I'm talking about, lurkers.

"What!? No, it can't be." Yuffie frowned.

"No, Riku. No." Sora suddenly stood and whirled on Sephiroth. Two Keyblades appeared in his hands and he began stalking the tall man. "You. Will. Die."

Sephiroth actually looked concerned. The Keyblade master's expression was dead serious and darkness swirled around him in twisting ribbons. He continued his slow march.

"Sora, wait!" Kairi tried to stop him but he shrugged her off.

"One of you do something!" She stomped a foot.

"Like what?" Yuffie retorted. "He's kicked every one of our butts including Sephiroth."

Zexion sighed. A dictionary appeared in his hands and he flipped a few pages. Demyx glanced over his shoulder. "Whatcha looking for?"

He shushed him with a raised hand. "Aerith, do you have a Phoenix Down?"

"Yes."

"Use it on Riku." He flicked some hair. Then in a voice that commanded attention, he barked out. "Sora!"

Demyx looked at him with dreamy eyes. "That voice is so sexy."

Zexion rolled his eyes up before returning them to Sora. The boy had frozen at his name. "Kiss Riku as Aerith administers the Phoenix Down to ensure that it is Riku who is reborn."

The brunette nodded, glaring again at Sephiroth. "You're still dead."

He turned and ran over to Riku's lifeless body, Keyblades disappearing. Aerith had darted over and knelt on the opposite side. "It will be a minute before I can use this."

"Just hurry."

"But-" Axel was flustered. He gave Zexion a pained look. "This defeats the whole-"

"Patience, Axel. In the end we'll all get what we're after."

"Oooh, we will?" Demyx draped his arms over the smaller Nobodies shoulders.

"Well, most of us will." He amended removing the offending objects from his person. "I suggest as this little event unfolds, Leon take this opportunity to repair Cloud."

All heads turned toward Leon, who was suddenly very uncomfortable. "What are you talking about?"

"Where do you think the idea for that story came from?"

"Wait!" Yuffie's jaw dropped. "Leon _is_ in love with Cloud?"

"He at least wants to screw his brains out." Axel smirked.

Cloud stared at Leon. Suddenly his eyes were very clear. "Are they, are they right, Leon?"

Leon studied the floor for a very long time.

"Leo, look at me."

Eventually he did and when their eyes met, Cloud's shoulders straightened and he was totally alert. He shook his head a bit to finish clearing it. Then he glanced down. "Where'd the baby come from?"

Aerith drew her attention from the other side of the room with a smile. It was about time something happened with those two. "Okay, Riku, let's take care of you. Ready, Sora?"

"Let's do it." He bit his lip before slowly bending down and lightly pressing his lips to Riku's. They were so cold and unresponsive he wanted to draw back but he didn't. Zexion said this was what he needed to do. He wasn't sure why he believed the Nobody but he did.

Warmth flowed through him and he was suddenly thrown back as Riku sat up sputtering and gasping. A wild eyed look graced his face as he frantically cast those eyes around him in confusion. Finally, they settled upon Sora, who was crying again.

"Sora…"

"Oh, gods, Riku!" The brunette threw his arms around the silver haired boy returned from the dead. "I love you. Don't ever leave me again!"

"I won't." Riku promised.

Sora pulled back a little and began kissing Riku intensely. They fell back together in a pile of limbs. Aerith quickly moved away, not wanting any part of that action.

"Well, looks like you're getting that porn." Yuffie watched the two closely. "Damn. I didn't think Sora had it in him."

"He doesn't!" Axel protested. "See what he just did? That's something Roxas likes to do!"

No one noticed Kairi standing off to the side in absolute shock. Something dark crossed her face. "I'm… I'm not seeing this."

Axel turned toward her, an evil smirk taking his face. "Look at those two going at it without a single thought about you. It's like you don't even exist to them anymore. Weren't you the one Sora was supposed to be with forever?"

She numbly nodded.

"You should do something about this."

Meanwhile, Cloud was still studying the child in his arms, now looking a bit uneasy. "Uh, you know I'm really not so good with kids."

"You've been doing good so far." Aerith assured him.

"Yeah, well. Here." He quickly handed the boy off to her. Baby Shin squirmed and began fussing. It wasn't long until the wailing started.

"Shut that kid up right now, Centra or so help me I will kill you again." Sephiroth threatened. He had no idea what was going on around here nor how the hell he'd been drawn into the insanity so easily and he was pissed.

She handed the baby back to Cloud and it immediately quieted. "See? He likes you."

"Must be because you're quiet." Leon commented.

Cloud locked gazes with the slightly younger man. "Then he'll probably like you too."

"Maybe."

Yuffie awed them. "See? You're the perfect little family!"

Both men gave her withering looks. Cloud shook his head a little as Leon muttered, "Whatever."

"So where does the, infant come from?"" Sephiroth narrowed his eyes at Shin. "It's not mine because the eyes are wrong."

"Vexen made him." Zexion answered. "Xemnas was going to use it as a new body however you stopped that by dispersing his consciousness."

Leon frowned, lightly touching the tiny face. "That's… horrible."

"The child has no true consciousness. It only behaves as it's been conditioned to."

Again all attention was drawn to the other side as Kairi let out an almost inhumane shriek. "You get the hell away from my Sora!"

She managed to bodily tear Sora away from Riku. Then she began pummeling Riku's chest. "He's my boyfriend, you hear me! Mine! You can't take him from me!"

"Kairi, what are you talking about?" Sora yanked her away from Riku. "We were never going out."

"But- but, you promised we'd be together everyday." She teared up, lower lip trembling.

"Well, yeah, I did but I didn't mean it like that." Sora rubbed the back of his head.

"I hate you!" She screamed, slapping him. "I want you to die!"

Sora stared at her. Pain etched his face. "You don't mean that, Kairi. You're just upset-"

"Yes I do. Both you and Riku can go to hell!" She raced toward the door but Aerith and Yuffie intercepted her.

Axel sighed, summoning his chakrams. "Looks like I have to do this the hard way." Flames encircled him. "Nothing personal, Sora but you have to die."

"Axel, stop!" The voice that left Sora's mouth wasn't his. "This has gone on way to long."

"But, Roxy-"

"No." Sora shook his head downward in a mannor that wasn't his. "We'll be together again someday but not like this."

Suddenly he glared at the other two Nobodies in the room. "And the two of you should be ashamed of yourselves."

Both Zexion and Demyx studied their feet.

"Just, freakin' get together already and make screwing your new hobby or whatever." He paused. "Oh, and I want the video."

They glanced at each other before nodding agreement.

"Good." Sora walked up to Axel, who had turned his eyes away. He cupped the red head's chin. "Behave."

Axel half-grinned. It was terribly sad. "Yes, Master."

Getting on tip-toes, Sora, or Roxas or whoever he was at the moment, kissed Axel deeply. He pulled away and walked back to Riku, shaking his head a little as if to clear it. When he spoke again it was Sora's own voice. "He has got to stop doing that."

Yuffie looked between Axel and Sora. "I have no idea what the deal is but Axel so doesn't seem the uke."

Demyx held out a hand and Zexion slapped ten munny into it. The musican sing-songed. "I so called that one."


	13. Chapter 13

Well here it is, the end! There is an epilogue which will be up in a few days. I'm sure some of you will disappointed with the ending but oh well. I can't make everyone happy, now can I? I got as much request stuff in as I could.

I hope this was a memorable read for you all and no one suffered any real brain damage.

Thank you everyone!!!!!!!! And leave me your overall opinion.

"As sickenly touching as this has been, someone is still going to pay for deceiving me." Sephiroth threatened, hand tightening around Masamune's hilt.

"No one deceived you Sephiroth." Aerith countered. She looked in mild amusement at the sword tip pointed at her chest. "And you can put that away. You won't kill me twice."

"Oh?" Sephiroth quirked an eye. He trust quickly and the entire room gasped. Cloud actually turned into Leon, not able to face seeing this again.

Laughter rang through the silence. Sephiroth stared in shock. The tip of his sword just penetrated the pink cloth and stuck there. Aerith looked immensely pleased with herself. "Do you take me for an idiot?"

She slipped the straps of the dress over her shoulders and pulled down. Fabric ripped along Masamune. A dull bronze colored breast plate coverer her upper body. "I never leave home without it."

"And here I thought you'd gotten a boob job." Yuffie commented.

Sephiroth stared at Aerith's chest for several minutes. He was in a state of shock that the woman had out smarted him. What happened to him? He was the Great Sephiroth! No one could beat him! Well, except Cloud but every self respecting villain needed a nemesis. Oh and Sora but that kid was a freak of nature.

"Riku, what are you doing?" Sora asked panicky as Riku struggled to get to his feet. He shot Sora a reassuring smile before very carefully making his way toward the winged man. His pace was so slow, there was time to watch Demyx flirt with Zexion.

As Zexion searched through his book, Demyx kept snaking his hand along the downed hooded neckline of his coat. There were several muttered 'stop it's. Demyx would pout and back off a little before starting again. After the fifth time of this, Zexion slammed his book down and whirled on the taller Nobody. He grabbed a fistful of leather and yanked him down, kissing him intensely, tongue and all.

He then let go and retook his book.

Demyx fell over with a nose bleed.

Riku had reached Sephiroth now and while the man was distracted by Aerith's chest, he decked him. Sephiroth actually fell back, dazed look in his eyes. "That's for using me as a damned sex toy!"

He began heading back to Sora before pausing at looking at Kairi. She was still struggling against Yuffie's hold on her and glaring hatefully at him. "I'm sorry, Kairi."

She froze.

"I always thought Sora and you would end up together forever and all that. But just because he's wants to be with me doesn't mean you aren't still important to him. I know you know this."

She blinked. "Oh. Oooh. Wait, I'm…." She looked at Yuffie. "Why do they always go yaoi?"

"Fan girls rule the worlds?" Yuffie suggested.

Kairi nodded. That sounded right. "Wanna get the last word in?"

Yuffie studied her a second before grinning. "Okay." Wrapping an arm around the other girl's shoulders, they skipped off, Yuffie calling out. "We're gonna comfort each other and make out a little."

"See ya!" Kairi waved behind her."

This snapped Demyx out of his pleasant daze. "Please tell me the cameras are still taping."

"They are. Luxard and Xalidan will be pleased." Zexion answered, merely sighing when Demyx wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Oh, you know you love me."

"As much as a heartless being can."

Riku sat back down beside Sora, leaning heavily against him. The new couple linked hands and focused their attention on Cloud, Leon and child. "Ok, it's your turn now."

"What?" Cloud looked up from the infant that he had some how convinced Leon to take.

Aerith giggled, finally pulling her top back up. "Time for you to fess up to Leon or I'll tell him about all those conversations we've had about him."

Leon turned to her. "What?"

"Oh yes. Cloud talks about you all the time." She smirked at Cloud. "Whenever he gets himself all worked up over you, he eats chocolate peanut butter ice cream. Scrooge had made a fortune off if him."

Cloud looked like he was going to kill Aerith.

"Take him a minute." Leon handed Shin over to her. This time he didn't fuss. Leon folded his arms to regard the older blonde man. "That's the reason behind all the sudden ice cream cravings?"

"Well, that stupid spell did make them worse." It was a lame excuse and Cloud cringed at himself for it.

Leon gave that bemused half grin of his before yanking one of the straps on Cloud's body. Pulling the smaller man to him, he muttered. "You gonna have to work to make up for all this."

Cloud's eyes brightened. "I might be able to handle that. Just promise to not go easy on me."

"Oh, I won't."

"Ugh! Stop already." Sephiroth groaned. "This has to be the most disgusting displays I've seen."

"I don't even want to think about you and Mansex." Sora called out.

"That wasn't what it looked like."

"Suuure."

"I don't have to explain myself to you!" He glared at the boys on the floor.

Suddenly, his eyes widened and a vacant stare overtook him. He dropped to the ground, again, blood pooling out from his chest. Aerith laughed holding the baby in one arm and Cloud's blood covered sword in the other. "Serves you right for killing Zack, bastard."

She smiled sweetly at Leon and Cloud. "Continue."

Both looked a little afraid. "I think we better do as she says."

"Yeah." Cloud agreed, lifting his head up a little.

Leon latched his lips to Cloud's and what was probably originally going to be a simple first kiss became, well, a lot more.

Riku whistled his appreciation while Demyx nudged his now understood boyfriend. "That's hot."

"Mm humm." Zexion didn't even look.

From behind Sora and Riku, sniffling was now heard. They turned and caught Axel furiously wiping at his tattooed eyes. Despite his red, swollen eyes he cockily said. "Well, check out the Yaoi fest we got goin' here. Where are the fangirls?"

"Axel…" Sora spoke softly.

"Yep. We are going to make a shitload of cash with these tapes." He stood completely ignoring Sora. "Well, I'm gonna make sure that yuri scene's happening."

He left at a near run.

Sora sighed. "It really hurts to see him like that. Everyone got what they wanted but him. I wish there was something I could do."

"You could become a Heartless." Zexion suggested.

"Uh, no." Sora laughed uneasily. "Really don't wanna do that again."

"In that case, I have an alternate idea but it will require a few sacrifices." Zexion closed his book. "We temporarily remove your heart, break it, then return it."

"Oh, no." Riku protested gripping Sora tightly to him. "You are not messing with Sora's heart."

"Of course not. That was always your job." The Nobody said snidely. Even were Sora to agree, we'd have no way to know where Roxas would appear. As an experiment, it has odds neither Vexen nor Luxard would take."

"Wait. How was Xemnas going to return?"

"He was going to use the child as a host to focus his consciousness."

Sora stood. He walked over to Cloud and Leon who had by now stopped their activates and were watching the others.

Cloud gave Sora a sad look. He glanced over at Zexion. "You said Shin had no actual soul, right?"

"Correct."

He took the baby from Aerith. The infant cooed. "You know, I've gotten rather fond of this little guy."

He turned to Leon, who nodded once. He touched the child's face hesitantly. Both were displaying more open emotion than Sora's ever seen. Aerith had teared up.

Cloud held out the baby to Sora. "Do it."

Sora nodded taking the bundle. "Okay, little one. Time to become half of me."

He turned to Riku who was staring wide eyed. "You know what to do, Riku."

"Are you sure about this?" Riku stood and came to Sora.

"Positive." Sora smiled reassuringly. "Come on, every one deserves a happy ending right?"

Riku weakly returned the gesture. "Yeah, but just in case."

He remove Shin from Sora's arms and thrust him into Zexion's. "Hold."

Then he turned back, gripped Sora's shoulders and shoved his tongue down his throat. Sora's hands twisted into silver hair as Riku's dropped to Sora's waist. Sora drew his mouth away only to place it on Riku's neck. Riku moaned appreciatedly, managing to whisper "I love you."

Sora grinned against the neck he was nibbling on. "You better."

He reluctantly pulled away turning to the two Nobodies nearby. Zexion was decidedly uncomfortable and practically thrust the infant at Sora. Demyx nuzzled him, making his hair flit up some. "Aww, you looked so molestable with him."

"That isn't a word." Zexion mumbled, clearly not really caring any more now that Demyx was latched on to his ear.

Sora turned his back to Riku who had summoned Way to the Dawn.

"Wait, just what are you doing?" Leon asked, holding Cloud comfortingly.

"Way to the Dawn came from the Soul Eater." Riku explained. "I can still unlock hearts with it."

Without a word of warning, he thrust it into Sora's back. Sora pitched forward, clutching Shin to him. He curled around in pain and a bright light burst forth. The other occupants of the room had to shield their eyes from it.

Once faded, Riku was the first to see. Sora lay in a near fetal position on the floor wrapped completely around a naked Roxas. Well, that just looked wrong.

"Sora!" He called out dropping to his knees beside the pair.

Sora groggily turned, releasing Roxas. "I want a cookie."

"Ugh." Roxas groaned holding a hand to his head. "Gods, Sora, your head is not a nice place to be."

"Sorry." Sora replied sheepishly.

"I don't suppose any one's got some spare clothes around here?"

"Roxy!" Demyx glomped him. "Oh, you're back! We missed you so much!"

"Get off me." Roxas shoved him hard.

"Here." Roxas looked up. Cloud stood beside him with the cloth over layer of his pants and Leon's jacket.

"Thanks." Roxas smirked affectionately at him. "Mom."

"They grow up so fast." Aerith laughed."

"Shut up." Cloud and Roxas spoke in unison.

"Okay that was creepy." Riku commented.

Suddenly the castle shook. Leon ran over to the window and looked out. "Oh you are not going to believe this."

"What?" Aerith came over and looked up. "We have to go now."

She turned. "Come on, Roxas. I'll take you to Axel."

"Right." He threw on the clothes given to him and stood. He glanced over his shoulder and gave Riku a pointed look. "Let Sora top once in a while. It'll really get him off."

Then he ran out after Aerith. Sora blushed bright red and Riku looked at him with a leer. "Is that right?"

"As entertaining as discussing Sora's sexual fantasies would be, we need to leave." Leon sounded a bit hurried.

"Why?"

Cloud had gone to the window now. "OH what the hell? He knows that isn't going to accomplish anything."

"What?" Riku, Sora, Demyx, and Zexion shouted.

"Sephiroth summoned Meteor and it crashing down on the castle." Cloud said casually. "Come on, let's go."

"Wait, he what?"

"Oh, we are so gone!" Demyx wrapped his arms protectively around Zexion, opening a portal and disappearing through it.

"But Aerith killed Seph! His body's right- uh, where'd…?" Sora searched around.

"Only I can eliminate Sephiroth." Cloud headed for the door followed by Leon. "He teleported out of here awhile ago."

"Oh." The teens exited the room at a run, quickly passing Cloud then Leon who had pulled ahead.

"We've got to get out of here now." Leon glanced about for the best route. Cloud was rather far behind, seemingly strolling along. "Cloud, why aren't you running?"

"I forgot how."

"What?" Leon frowned. "Never mind, I don't want to know. It's probably for the best. When you run, it's always into walls or something." He grabbed the man's hand and tugged him forward. "We've got to catch up to Sora and Riku."

"There's no real hurry. Besides, Aerith will have already taken care of it." He pointed out the turret and the now completely clear sky.

"How-?"

Cloud shrugged. "Why do you think Seph wants her dead?"

The teens were still running, now on the next level down. Leon called for them to wait up but they just kept going. When they finally caught up with them he glared. "Why'd you keep running?"

"We forgot how to walk." Sora answered sheepishly.

"Besides, you didn't tell us not to." Riku smirked.

First Cloud can't run without special instruction and now the Keybladers can't walk? What was with those guys. It was like they had permanent programming glitches or something. Leon sighed. At least they were all acting normal again.

"Let's just go home."

"Yeah." Riku agreed.

They walked out of the castle in a small group where the others were waiting. Everyone looked worn with the exception of Roxas and Axel who were completely unaware of the others presence. Apparently, the clothing was a wasted effort. This had certainly been one hell of a day.

"Hey, Sora?" Riku wrapped an arm over small shoulders.

"Yeah?"

"Remind me to destroy that laptop when we get home."


	14. Epilouge

Here it is a bit earlier than I planned but we had a house showing so I sat on the back porch and whipped this out. This will be it for this story! No more. Don't ask. But if you have new ideas for stories, I'm all ears.

EPILOUGE

"Hey, either of you seen Riku?"

Roxas didn't take the time to stop sucking on Axel's neck to answer. He only pointed in the direction of the raised clubhouse toward the other side of the island. Those two had been literally inseparable since Roxas had been returned the prior month.

"Uh, thanks." He ran off that way, soon coming across Kairi. "You know if Riku's over here?"

"Think so." She said absently, reading some book she picked up detailing why all the good men were gay and how to use it to your advantage . She'd gone totally fan girl on them and was constantly asking to watch him and Riku make out. Roxas and Axel actually let her. His other was sooo weird. "Why?"

"We got a letter from Aerith."

"Oh?" She closed her book. "I wanna hear."

Sora shrugged and she followed him to the wide post the clubhouse was on top of. ""You up there, Riku?"

A frantic skittering was hear and a moment later, Riku's head appeared out the window. Hey, uh, what's up?"

"What were you doing up there?"

"Nothing." He said that a bit too quickly.

"Well, Aerith sent us a letter."

"Oh, I'll be right down." He disappeared for a minute, more shuffling ensued. He climbed down the ladder, backside clearly defined in his board shorts. Sora found himself staring.

Kairi giggled loudly which snapped him out of it. "You're drooling again."

Sora actually wiped at his mouth. Then he glared at her. Stupid fangirl.

Riku was on the ground now and he gave Sora a wide grin that made the boy want to jump him right there, Kairi or not. "So what's it say?"

"Huh? OH." Sora blinked. He pulled out the sheet of paper.

"Hey! Why are we being left out of the orgy?" Axel loudly asked from the bridge. Roxas was riding him piggy back.

"I wish!" Kairi replied.

"I got a letter from Aerith!" Sora shouted back. Man, he was getting tired of saying that. "If you wanna hear it, get over here."

Axel somehow managed to jump the ten feet down and not dislodge the blonde from his back. He jogged over and joined the little group.

Sora began reading. "_Dear Sora, Riku, and Kairi,_"

"Hey, why aren't we addressed?" Roxas frowned.

"_And of course Roxas and Axel._" Sora added with a glare. "You didn't let me finish."

Roxas poked his tongue at him. Axel slapped his leg. "Hey, that's for me only."

"Continuing." Riku refocused the conversation. He placed both hands on Sora's shoulders rubbing them. "Go ahead."

"_I hope things are going well on the Island. Yuffie and I have been trying to convince Leon to lift his banning so you can visit but he won't budge. Even Cloud has tried but Leon simply tells him it's only another five months and you were lucky the banishment wasn't permanent._"

Riku snorted. "I don't know why he's being so stubborn about it. It got him together with Cloud."

"_However, Roxas and Axel are welcome whenever they like._"

"What?" Riku's jaw dropped.

"_I think Roxas's mommy misses him and though he'll never admit it, his daddy too._"

Axel squeezed Roxas's legs. "Awww, see? It isn't just you. Cloud and Leon miss you too. Hey, we should go see the folks and try to weasel some munny outta them."

"Ha! So the fanfic was true!" Kairi laughed. "Roxas is Cloud and Leon's baby! That's so freakin' awesome."

"That's so not fair!" Riku was actually pouting. Sora found it extremely alluring. The silver haired one glared at Roxas. "It's your fault the whole damn mess started!"

Roxas smirked. "It's always easier to forgive your own child."

"Fuck you."

"That's what you have Sora for."

"Can I finish reading this?"

"Yeah." Riku folded his arms angrily, still giving the former Nobodies dirty looks.

"Where was I… oh. _They've moved in together and even have a room for Roxas. Yuffie still maintains that they should have a real baby and has been secretly talking to Merlin about it._"

"Oh, that won't end well." Riku commented.

"_Sephiroth came to see us a few days ago. He's spent the past month in a psychiatric ward and has been certified as sane again. He's… very different now. He apologized for killing me and we're going out for dinner tomorrow night."_

"Whoa, Aerith's hooking up with Sephiroth?" Kairi looked as stunned as the rest of them. "How the hell does that work?"

"Who knows?" Axel shrugged. "She's kinda twisted herself."

"_And finally, Demyx and Zexion have completely rebuilt the castle and are letting orphans live with them. They donated a great deal of munny to the Restoration and are highly admired around here. The new library is being named after them."_

"Waaaiitt." Axel drew out the word. He looked up at Roxas who was beginning to look really pissed. "They said…"

"I'm going to fucking kill them." Roxas's tone was laced with fury.

Kairi tilted her head. "You haven't been getting a cut from the DVD sales?"

"They said the tapes got destroyed when the meteor hit!" Axel shouted.

"Oh, man!" She twisted in amusement, hitting her leg with a light slap. "It's like the best selling thing on the internet! It's made millions! Every fangirl wants it."

The lovers looked at each other. "We as sooo outta here."

Axel took off, Roxas still on his back glowering.

"_So that's the news here._" Sora continued in irritation. _"I hope everything there is well and we will be able to see you soon. Aerith._"

"Well, I'm glad things are working out." Kairi grinned. "Dem and Zexy are soooo dead when those two get there."

The two boys nodded.

She glanced between them a moment, the barest of grins on her face. "Well, I'm going back to my book. I will make money off you two somehow."

"Whatever." Riku waved her off.

Once alone, Sora noticed Riku was still brooding. He stuffed the letter into his pocket and stepped closer to the taller boy. "Leon's just a stubborn ass."

"I know." Riku muttered. "It still pisses me off."

Sora looked up at him with totally innocent eyes. "Want me to take your mind off of it?"

Riku smirked, his gaze anything but innocent. "And just how do you plan to do that?"

"Oh, I don't know." Sora drew circles on Riku's chest. "There's gotta be something I can do."

Riku pulled the smaller one to him, impatient. Without another word, he captured Sora's lips and hands slowly began roaming. After a few minutes, he muttered against Sora's neck. "There's too much sand down here."

"So we go up."

The pair did so, Sora first allowing Riku a pleasant view of his cute little butt. Climbing over the edge, Sora twisted himself as he scooted back to let Riku in. The older teen was on him immediately and the two rolled together on the wood floor.

There was a large ratty blanket off to the left and when Sora's back fell upon it, something poked it. "Ugh, what is that?"

Suddenly, Riku looked panicked. "Nothing, a loose board probably."

He tried to continue the make out session but now Sora's mind was distracted. He squirmed away and went to move the blanket. Riku began protesting but it was too late.

"What is this?" Sora frowned. "I thought you got rid of the laptop. You said you did."

"Well, it's too expensive to just throw out." Riku argued weakly.

The computer was open and with a light touch to the mouse, the screensaver disappeared and words took it's place. "You aren't reading more fanfic, are you?"

"No."

Sora peered closer. "Wait a minute, wait just one darn minute. This is the word processor."

He whirled on Riku. "You're writing this stuff now?!"

"It's just… some odd thoughts." Riku managed to yoink the machine and close it flat. "A journal… chronicling our relationship."

Sora narrowed his eyes.

"I mean it! It's not like I'm posting it or anything!"

Sora sighed. "You're addicted."

Riku smirked suggestively and crept up to the brunette. "Only to you."

He pounced again and Sora decided it wasn't worth the effort to lecture Riku on the evils of fanfic. It wasn't like it could start anything worse than what they'd been through the last time, right?

Too bad he didn't notice the red-haired girl watching them outside the window with a note book who had recently discovered an ability to draw she never had before who was now giggling to herself. "Thank you, Namine."


End file.
